I was talking with a client about God and Christianity recently and, while describing his journey, he used this analogy: “Believing in and trusting God is like playing one of those crane games at the arcade. The game is rigged…

Sex addicts lie. Men that struggle with pornography, strip clubs or prostitutes lie. Sometimes those lies are about major things, where telling the truth in the moment would result in major consequences. So the lie is to avoid consequences. Often…

By now, many folks who made a “No More Porn” new year’s resolution have found their resolve beginning to wane. There is only so long someone can white-knuckle it, hanging on for dear life by their will alone. If you…

“Is there something you need to tell me?” On at least two different occasions during the first few years of our marriage Shelley would ask me that question. I’ll never forget one night as we were lying in bed about…

I want to address the issue of passivity in recovery. Passivity is painful. Should I say, it is painful to watch. And it’s painful to the people who long for you to be proactive. A lot of times I don’t…

Do you remember in third grade learning long division? The solar-powered Texas Instruments calculator? A few taps of the keypad and the answer magically appears. Yet your teacher would not accept a calculator generated answer. You had to, say it with me, “Show your work.” You could even get the right answer, but it would not count unless your teacher could see that you knew what you were doing. Long division had to be…longhand.

We still love these kinds of short cuts in life, don’t we? Especially around the really difficult things…things like mending a broken relationship

Several months ago I was doing a visualization exercise with one of my groups when I had a vivid picture pop into my mind. It looked like this: Along with the picture came a profound (to me) take on…

Are we engaging our wives with empathy to care for them, or aiming for exoneration, to clear ourselves of wrongdoing?